Saturday, January 10, 2009

straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect 200 pounds of flesh.

Okay, I think we've established that I'm going to hell when I die. I'm just too twisted to be granted access to the great BatCave in the sky.

But at least I'll be going to the cool hell with Anton LaVey, George Carlin, Che Guevera, John Cassavetes, Lee Marvin, Steve McQueen and the like, not the square hell that Rumsfeld and Cheney are going to and it currently populated by John Wayne, Regan and Charlton Heston.

So, last weekend, there was a story about a suicide bomber who killed 35 pilgrims in Baghdad. I just pictured bits of pumpkin and buckle hats strewn everywhere and couldn't stop giggling.

Seriously, though I feel really bad for those people.

I just can't help but thinking that if they had more modern weapons than the muskets you have to pour the ball bearings into and tamp down and can only fire once ever three minutes or so, they could've protected themselves better.

I apologize to all mankind.


  1. You may be being too harsh on John Wayne, for The Searchers and The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance alone he doesn't deserve to have to hang around Reagan.

  2. Okay, I'll give him The Searchers. But have you seen True Grit or The Shootist? Maybe he can commute back and forth between cool hell and square hell.

  3. That would be ok, he needs something to teach him a lesson for supporting HUAC so fervently. No I haven't seen those, I've only seen his good films.

  4. That reminds me, I almost forgot to mention Humphrey Bogart in cool hell.

  5. Is Robert Mitchum there with him?